I hope this ("I am a dead man.") can help some here find a chuckle. (Hint: The Onion is a satire publication.)
I'm not really dead, just have not posted here in quite a while, due to uncontrollable circumstances keeping me from medical care for a number of months.
Or, as the Monty Python skit said:
"I'm not dead yet!"
Hmmm.... Then again,wasn't that followed by people saying "Well, he will be soon. He's very ill." and "You'll be stone dead in a moment?" Perhaps not the cheeriest of movies to reference...